Friday 17 November 2017

100 WC Week 10


                                                                          The robbery


Hi Im officer Jones. I just got a call in for a bank robbery lets go. "Don't forget Itall " Teresa said. Right Itall is a little robot cop Its short for something. I see the car Im going to follow it DANG! I've been spotted. It turned into a high speed chase they were side by side and then the robber went to the left and flipped officer jones car uhhoowwww i'll find him. One hour later I found the car in the drive way. I'm in the house he's in the washroom I'm getting the money flushhhh he's comming. I found a hiding spot but where will we hide Itall turn Into a toaster. Im hiding in a closet CREEK! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

1 comment:

  1. You have an idea for your story but you need to polish your writing. Some parts of your story are inconsistence. For example you begin with Officer Jones speaking and telling the story from his perspective but switch to a third person telling that the car was flipped back to officer jones telling the story again. Be consistent. Also be sure to read over your story out loud to your self and to someone as it will help you pick up parts that need to be revised.

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